My Other Partner is my Ex-girlfriend's Boyfriend's Wife

(This was originally published in Sensual 'n Secret blog on March 21, 2009.)

My blog on vacation sex was my first post here, and I just jumped in with both feet only throwing you tidbits about myself. This week you get more of an introduction to me.

I write erotica and speculative fiction, defined as the collection of science fiction, fantasy, and horror genres. I really like writing flash fiction, defined as stories under a thousand words. I've had several erotic stories published at Oysters and Chocolate, an erotica webzine, and Ruthie's Club, an erotica subscription website (n.b. now sadly closed). I've been writing fiction for five years.

You may have noticed a phrase I used in last week's blog -- "my other significant other". My significant other is my wife, whom I live with in the Midwest.
My other significant other is my other partner that lives on the East Coast. No, I'm not cheating on my wife. We are polyamorous (poly for short), also known as ethical non-monogamy -- similar to an open marriage. This means that my wife and I have agreed that, within certain rules, we can both pursue romantic/sexual relationships outside of the marriage. Over the years, I've had several girlfriends.

My long distance partner is also poly and lives with her partner and their daughter. I've known her for over a decade, but only recently did we strike up a relationship. Coincidentally, her partner is dating a woman I used to date a couple years ago. So, the title of this article is true for me, except for the 'wife' part. (They aren't married, but 'partner' would have been too repetitious.)

Polyamory isn't for everyone. If you are the jealous type, if the thought of your spouse/lover/partner/whatever having sex and being in love with another person makes you want to buy guns or rat poison, if you hide in the attic in the fetal position every time your spouse leaves the house, perhaps you're not cut out for it. It's all about trust and communication. The three most important rules in a polyamorous relationship are: communicate, communicate, and communicate.

That's enough about me for now. Next time, back to the sex.

Reading List
Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, Tristan Taormino, Cleis Press, 2008.
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures, Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, Celestial Arts, 2009.
Polyamorous Misanthrope (http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/), a web site with great articles on polyamory.