Imagine my surprise!

I was raised in the 1970s to be a sensitive guy of the 90s. Everyone's equal. Women control their bodies. Ask permission before touching someone. It's okay to show your emotions. You know -- a real Alan Alda-type.

Imagine my surprise when, after more than six years of marriage and knowing my wife for at least six more before that, I find myself as her Owner and she as my pet. We'd had a pretty normal marriage, share in decisions, share expenses (though we've never merged finances, since mine are so crappy), share in raising the children, share share share. Sometimes we argue, sometimes we'd go periods without sex, but all pretty normal stuff.

Then my wife woke up one day, turned to me, and said, "I need you to Own me. Like a person owns a beloved pet. I really don't like the idea of 'slave'."

It took me a day to pick up my jaw from the floor. My chin was rather sore from bumping into things. Then we talked about it.

It turns out that she's always had a need to totally submit and be owned, that she's been in a couple relationships where she submitted, but they'd never worked out well, because they were bastards who took advantage of her. She had never brought up the subject with me, because she viewed me as not interested in such things. Until recently, except for the fact that I was polyamorous, my sex life had been rather vanilla. But at the time, I had been investigating BDSM for about six months.

My wife felt the time was ripe to reveal her deep seated need to me. She couldn't have been more right. In the months since then, I've been exploring my dominant side with her. I've been finding what things she needs. It turns out, she has a high pain threshold, and really enjoys certain kinds of pain, like biting, flogging, and spanking. Sometimes I need lots of reassurance that I'm not hurting her more than she wants. Being new to everything, it took me awhile to really use the flogger hard enough, to spank like I mean it, etc. We have never been happier or more satisfied.

And the sex? Oh, my Gods! We went from occasional sex to sex every night for two weeks straight. I'm not talking about going to bed, making love, and falling asleep cuddling. I'm talking about an hour of making out and heavy petting on the couch, followed by going up to bed, flogging or spanking for 45 minutes, and then hard sweaty fucking for at least another hour. We were collapsing unconscious after 2 a.m., and needing to wake up at 7 a.m. We could't keep our hands off each other. If I wasn't touching her when in the same room, I was unhappy.

We still want to do that every night, but realities of children and jobs keep it down to about four to five nights a week. Sleeping in on the weekend often means waking up at 6 a.m., having sex, going back to sleep, and going at it again at 9.

She just spent a week out of town visiting her best friend that she's known since grade school. We missed each other so thoroughly. Part of the problem was that her friend lives in a valley between two mountains and gets shitty cell service. We talked once a day and texted each other the rest of the time. The kids were all gone too, so the house was empty, except for the housemate, who worked nights and I barely saw. I couldn't get to sleep. I'd wake up on the couch, having fallen asleep writing on the computer till 3:30 a.m.

When she came home last night just before midnight, we sat down to watch Leverage on T.V. before going to bed. We got about 15 minutes into the show before we were all over each other, pulling off clothes, and doing it on the couch. I said, "Time for the bed." We went upstairs and kept going for another two hours.

Welcome home, my love.