Breathplay

A couple of years ago my wife, G, and I went to Shibaricon. We were just beginning the exploration of our kinky side. I knew a little about my own kinks, but not much about those of my lovely spouse. After one of the classes, she asked one of the presenters to show me something that she'd seen him demonstrate earlier in the day when I wasn't around. So we went out into the hall, and he put an arm around G's neck and puts his hand on her mouth, using his pinkie to close and open her nose for breathing. I could see her strong reaction. Then he had me try it on her, and she completely melted in my arms. That was our first exploration into breathplay together.

Until that time, I had actively avoided it, and probably would have listed it on my hard limits list. I was afraid of breathplay. I'd heard too many news accounts of people who died from auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Sometime later, when she suggested we go to a local talk on breath play by Lee Harrington, I got the message -- she wanted to investigate this form of edge play. The 45 minute discussion of safety at the beginning of the talk helped a lot. After this, I would occasionally put my hand on her throat during sex and apply very mild pressure. This had the desired effect, so my interest was piqued.

Then we went to a class at Northern Lights Kink, a local hotel BDSM event. The presenters, Jim and Jerith, had a comprehensive class on breathplay with some awesome demonstrations. Again, the safety tips peppered through out the class were very good at reducing my fear. Afterward, while we were in the hotel room before dinner, we tried just putting my hand over her mouth and nose. She immediately relaxed against me, and when I released her, we kissed passionately. She was very turned on by it, and her reaction was very arousing to me. That’s when it finally clicked in my head.

This week, we went to bed with the intent of just cuddling and falling asleep. Instead, I tried something out on her -- I covered her mouth and closed her nose with my fingers early on as foreplay. It took a few tries to get a good seal, but I got it right, and G reacted well. We played with her breath for about 10 minutes, and then had one of those “These speakers go to 11” sexual encounters. Not bad for ‘just cuddling’.