The Path of Love

Over the weekend ending on May 1st was the Free Spirit Beltane festival on the East Coast. It was also a powerful exercise on the Path of Love.

This festival is pretty unique in both the pagan and BDSM worlds. It is a sacred sexuality Beltane festival with a 25 foot phallic maypole to dance around, a rather BDSM-oriented class schedule, a fully-equipped play space, and fire dancing with excellent drummers. I’ve gone for several years. Here is an accounting of one aspect of my time at this festival, the parts involving Love. I'll have a more general post about the festival later.

After I arrived, my long-distance partner, C, took me aside for a talk. I listened to her heartfelt and honest, but difficult and painful, revelation about what she wanted. I accepted it without drama, but not without emotion. My heart remained open, when it could have easily slammed shut. Walking the path of love is painful sometimes, for you have to feel the pain in order to feel the pleasure and ecstasy. Keeping your heart open keeps the pain from crushing you.

The next day I grieved for what had been lost in the last half a year. I also felt the love I still had for this woman. Surprising myself, I healed remarkably quickly, without vilifying anyone. I realized that a piece of the relationship was gone, but the love remained intact. I could survive if we still loved each other. Aphrodite’s children work through love and loss differently than others. I even hugged her other partner later that day.

She and I performed a Wiccan Beltane ritual for about 25 people. We worked with Aphrodite and Hephaestus. Hephaestus’ pain and mine were an interesting combination. I think it made the invocation stronger. It was very reassuring and gratifying at the same time that the ability of C and I to officiate together was still there.

Knowing that I was going to be alone for the weekend, I did an uncharacteristic thing. I walked up to a woman I’ve known for 20 years, but had lost touch with until last summer. I asked if she wanted to spend the festival with me. She was enthusiastic. Whether my bravery was from having an open heart or from being Aphrodite’s child, I don’t know. I just know that it allowed me to do something I had never done before, and saved my weekend from disaster. This act was also done out of love and not spite, revenge, or any other negative emotion. Love and a desire to not sit in my cabin crying.

The rest of the weekend was taken up with classes, the handfasting of a friend, rampant voyeurism, a little playful pain, chilly delights, a sensual feast, and multiple reassurances from my Goddess. (A previous post has those details.) But through it all, I walked the path of love and I kept my heart open. I know Aphrodite was proud.